Thinking of taking your relationship to the next level? We have compiled a handful of questions to ask before moving in together to help you have the important discussions.
While relationships are exciting times, it is best to discuss practical matters before getting married. It’s essential to discuss finances, family values, and goals in life before you get married.
First, we will discuss how asking about certain things before living together can help you, then we will talk about the key questions to ask your partner before moving to live together.
How can asking questions before moving in together help you?
Living together is a brand new world, no matter how long you have known the other person or have been dating each other. You are still entering uncharted territory that could make or break your relationship.
That’s why you need to ask questions before living together.
It helps you evaluate your relationship up to this point
Before you check off items on the moving in together checklist, you should make sure that you and your partner are both ready. There could be pressure from family, friends, and your social circle to take the next big step, but it’s better to see how things are between you and each other first.
You should work together in order to foster your bond. Setting up your schedule so that you do not both have the same obligations is not advisable, and if other issues arise, or you develop a differing connection, it is important to address them.
It helps you think about why you want to move in together
Hopefully, your shared life is more than just a nice convenience, or it could save you on rent. But because you are working toward the same goals and seeing a future together, it must be something more.
It helps you be on the same page with finances, future goals, and other things
Discussing the groceries you wish to purchase before you create your lists will help you stay on target about your future plans. Ask the questions and get to know one another better.
You’ll also hear a lot of moving in together advice as you take the process, so you should prepare to enter the process with your own goals in mind.
10 Important questions to ask before moving in together
In every step of our relationship, clear communication is essential. If you are unsure where to begin the discussion.
1. Where do you see us in the future?
For some, living together is preparation for marriage, but it’s a big leap to make. So, sit down and discuss it. Be sure to discuss and share your expectations with each other.
This is one of the questions to ask your partner before moving together that is casual and open-ended. But it could reveal so much about where you see yourselves in the future.
You don’t have to agree to everything about your future together. However, this will make it much easier if you understand your partner’s plans before living together.
2. What are your expectations around having children?
One of the most important questions to ask before moving in together is whether you want to have or do not want to have children. If you want to have kids, it’s vital that your partner knows this in advance.
If you plan on having children soon, discuss your timelines with one another. Discuss your views openly.
If you’re wondering whether you should cohabit with someone before having children, ask if that’s the case. If you wish to marry before you have children, say that.
3. How will we handle conflict?
A key question to consider before living together is whether or not there will be conflict. Conflict is impossible to avoid when two people live together.
You will battle against large life matters and minor annoyances. Discuss how you handle conflict and devise a loose action plan.
Don’t be shy about your needs. For example, if you would rather pause the conversation and come back when it’s more relaxing, inform your companion. So they know what is expected of them.
4. How should we manage our finances?
Numerous couples avoid spending discussions until after it is too late. But it is essential that you discuss how you will budget your money.
Discuss and plan how you are going to divide the rent, bills, and shared expenses like groceries and other household items.
In addition, does your partner expect that you should combine finances, partially or fully? Who should be responsible for managing the money?
If you’re married, the law provides more protection and benefits. So, talk through whether your financial plan will change if you get married.
5. How would you describe your spending habits?
One of the many moving-in together tips that I’ve heard is to evaluate how each of you spends money.
Because it can be a source of conflict and stress, it’s important to have this discussion. Imagine if one partner adheres to a budget while the other squanders every cent and has no way to pay for their share of the bills.
6. How do you feel about debt?
Many people owe money, including student debt, car payments, credit card debt, and more. But debt may mean different things to different people.
Debt can be a path to attaining a long-term goal such as buying a house or receiving an education. Each person’s attitude toward finances will affect how they pay off debt and whether they want to do so at all.
This is one of the most important things to ask yourself before moving in together since you want to know if they have debt and how much they currently owe.
In addition to that, you would learn how your companion handles their debt. The purpose of having these conversations is so that you wouldn’t find them after you have already combined your finances.
7. What are your financial goals?
Everyone has different goals they want to achieve. Ask them this question to understand your partner’s goals and how you can help them.
Knowing what your partner wants to achieve also helps you set your own goals. For example, you may be planning a vacation, but your significant other wants to start saving for a down payment on a house.
These acquaintances must be a part of your moving list because they can prevent many disputes in the future. Discussing your objectives also lets you see how your relationship fits into these plans.
8. Where will we live?
One of the most important things to discuss before moving in together is, “Where will we stay?” It is important to discuss where each of you will live if the two of you decide to move in together, whether you are each going to live in your home or decide to find a new place together, or whether you will split expenses and find a new place together.
Think about your needs before starting house hunting. Agree on a budget and living space that are practical for both of you.
Designate your commutes to and from work and accommodations for your animals, if you have one. Make a list of local amenities you are looking for like parks, food vendors, security, and so on.
Decide whether you will be on either the lease or buying.
Be sure to discuss these issues before you move in together.
9. How will we manage household chores?
You’ve never run short of cleaning tasks.
These may not be the most lighthearted questions to bring up before moving in together. But disagreements could be avoided by discussing how you will handle household chores.
Come up with a plan about how you will tackle things. Perhaps your partner wants to do the tasks you don’t like. They may like to cook and you don’t mind doing the dishes. That would be fun!
10. What happens if it doesn’t work out?
You should be aware that things may not pan out the way you hope. Set expectations as to how you’ll treat each other if it does not work out.
Who will take on the place after the breakup and how are you going to deal with things you buy together?
Moving in together checklist
Are you ready to take the plunge? Here is your opportunity to move in together. Here is a three-part “moving in together checklist” to get you there.
1. Do some self-reflection
Once you’ve received the answer to each question on the checklist prior to moving in with your new partner, you may have the responses you’re searching for. Now, it is time to do some introspection.
Be honest with yourself. Think about your reasons for taking the next step — is it something you really want? It’s important to be certain that this is what’s best for you.
2. Build a “breakup” fund
No one enters into a relationship expecting the relationship to fail, but it might happen. The best way to protect yourself is to be prepared.
Set up a different savings account that you can access should you need to move out. It is the best moving-together advice we can offer.
To cover your breakup expenses, set aside $1,000. You can use this to cover hotel expenses as you look for a new place to rent if necessary.
Therefore, set a funding goal that will allow you to maintain yourself for at least 6 months in the event that you are no longer partnered. This is because, when you are single, you may not have any close relatives who have the funds to help out.
3. Go through all of your stuff
Whether you’re moving or someone is, both make sure that you go through all your stuff. You might wind up with duplicates, so, determine what you have, what you own, and what you’re throwing out before the move.
Designate what you will keep, throw out, or donate. Take great care of one another’s sentimental attachment to your items.
But realize that everything you decide to keep has a price. The price could be in dollars since you’ll need a larger house, or you will be surrendering space to accommodate all that stuff.
These are the top questions to ask your partner before moving in together!
Our moving in together advice is to weigh your decision carefully. These questions to ask before moving in together will help you understand your partner’s views.
It is important to discuss how each of you thinks about money, goals, and the future of your relationship.
Having the test results will also make you feel more assured about your relationship. It’s the best place to find out if you’re ready to move in together.
