A harem genre exists in manga and anime where the main male character is surrounded by many females who all admire and love him. He either chooses one of these females at the end, or none of them, which is called the harem ending.

The word harem comes from the Arabic word haram, meaning forbidden. This refers to the ancient Muslim practice of prohibiting unmarried women from contact with other men outside of their families.

The popularity of this genre has risen and fallen over the years, but it seems to be sticking around for a while. Partially because there are many LGBTQ+ members of society who identify with one character in particular: The male character that they identify as and fall in love with him, only to find out at the end that he’s gay!

This article will talk about how this affects individuals within the LGBTQ+ community, and how to help those that are going through this.

Describe his appearance

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

The main character is usually described as having a normal appearance. He or she is not too tall, not too short, not too skinny, and not too fat.

The same can be said for hair color and style. The MC typically has plain colors in their hair and styles it in plain styles, like brushed back, bangs, or curly.

Their features are also plain- Jane eyes, pale skin, neutral lips, and so on. All of these things make it easier to imagine yourself as the MC!

The main character of Boys Over Flowers has brown hair and green/hazel eyes, for example. He is tall and fit, with plain features like he uses no makeup or wears plain clothing.

Explain his personality

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

A very important part of your character is his personality. How does he behave around other characters?

Does he have a nice personality? Is he funny, dry, sarcastic? Is he mean, rude? Does he have a soft side?

Your character can be involved in as many romances as the author wants, but if his personality is not well defined, it will be hard to see him as someone people like.

For example, if your character is mean and rude, people will not like him. People like characters that are nice and who make them feel good about themselves. A mean character makes people feel insecure and defensive.

Tell us about his friends

Along with his love interest, the main character usually has a couple of friends. These friends are there to help the MC in various situations, and to add humor to the story.

Like most stories, your character will have friends he has known for a long time, and ones that he meets along the way. How he interacts with them is up to you!

Some harem stories have the main character meet his friends through the love interest. If you want to add some extra spice, have one of his close friends be interested in him romantically. Have fun with it!

By the way, remember earlier how we mentioned that some harem characters are actually boys disguised as girls? Well, if your main character is a boy but thinks he’s in a harem situation, that could get really confusing.

Give us some backstory on his romantic interests

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

While it may seem odd to ask for more info on people who don’t exist, remember that harem characters almost always don’t exist.

They’re fantasies, projections of what the main character wants. And most often, he or she wants every person they encounter to be attracted to them.

By giving us more info on his romantic interests, you’d be helping him realize that these people aren’t real and he doesn’t really want them – he wants someone else!

By developing these imaginary people as real people with real personalities and desires of their own, you’d be doing him a huge favor.

Why is he gay?

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

Interestingly, most harem manga characters are straight. The main characters almost always encounter multiple women throughout their adventures, and they occasionally express interest in them.

The main character almost always expresses interest in women as well, which makes sense — because he’s the main character, he’s supposed to be interested in everyone!

He either spends time with them or dreams about them often, and sometimes they even say they’re his girlfriend. This all points to him being straight.

So why is our harem boy gay? Some theories point to his childhood friends — he may have had a crush on one of them and didn’t realize it until later when he encountered another person he was attracted to. Or maybe some of his past encounters with women were less than pleasant, making him disinterested or even disaffected towards them.

What are the consequences of being in a harem for him?

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

Being in a harem can have consequences for him emotionally, physically, and psychologically.

Emotionally, he can start to feel guilt about liking or loving any of the other characters because he is not supposed to. He has to hide his feelings for fear of the consequences.

Physically, he has to deal with the constant physical contact due to the nature of the genre. Having to hold, hug, and kiss multiple people can be draining on the body.

And psychologically? Well, this is probably the worst consequence of all. Since he has to hide who he really is, he may start to question himself and his identity. He may even start to believe that he is not really gay because of all of this exposure to women.

How does he deal with it?

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

While it is true that most yaoi and manga in general is created by and for straight women, many gay men also enjoy the genre. There are even gay communities where people discuss their favorite manga and character pairings!

Many people who don’t read yaoi assume that since it’s male characters involved in romantic and sexual situations, it’s for men only. This is not the case! Many gay men find enjoyment in the over-the-top fantasies and the beautiful art.

Some people may find it uncomfortable to read two males having sex, but most yaoi is not written to be realistic. It is written as a fantasy, some even with supernatural elements!

(Some) characters in yaoi do experience homophobia, however. This can be dealt with in therapy or talking with friends and family.

Does he come out about being gay?

i'm the main character of a harem manga, but i'm gay so every day is hell for me

Coming out as gay is a big deal, and it can be even more of a big deal when you’re in the public eye. Some people feel like they have to wait for the right time or for someone to ask them about their sexuality before coming out, but that isn’t the right way to do it.

If someone is asking you if you’re gay, then there’s a good chance they already have some sort of idea that you are.

It can be hard to separate the person you are from the person you love, so trying to make changes to your personality can seem impossible.

It’s totally okay if he doesn’t come out as gay, but he should at least try to be more open and friendly with other people so he can feel better about himself.


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