we experience disappointments in life. But how can you properly respond to disappointment when others let you down? Or when your friends disappoint you? How you interact with others regarding letting you down is very important. It teaches you how to approach relationships and the quality of your friendships. In the end, we all need each other. It’s imperative to learn how to communicate when your friends let you down.
Why it hurts when people let you down
There are many reasons why you feel bad about friends disappointing you. Knowing why you feel this way is important for self-awareness and moving forward.
Unmet expectations
Another reason that you may feel disappointed or hurt is that you have been disappointed by other people’s shortcomings. This is when you set a standard for others to reach, but they do not meet it.
It may perhaps be that they are unable to meet them or that they overlooked what was required of them. For instance, unsupportive friends.
One example of this is loaning money to a friend or family member. The expectation that it’s returned within a set time frame is not met if your friend doesn’t pay you back.
It can be both disappointing and frustrating when someone doesn’t meet a mandate that is established and communicated.
This refers to the disconnect between what was promised and what was actually delivered. You assumed that something would occur, and it didn’t.
Unrealistic expectations
When your friends let you down is it because you have unrealistic expectations? Having unrealistic expectations of others is a mistake that can lead to disappointment. However, sometimes our expectations of people are not met.
For example, you can be expecting your friends to be readily available to you 24 hours a day. Or for your toddler not to make a mess. This is unthinkable for anyone and might lead to disaster.
Ask yourself if your expectations would be appropriate for you to do.
Lack of communication or miscommunication
One reason that you might feel disappointed is the lack of communication and miscommunication about your needs and expectations.
For example, you may have informed your spouse not to buy anything for your birthday when you are in fact interested in buying something. This may be a mistake in communication in which you hide your feelings and wants from your partner.
If you want to avoid unnecessary disappointment, it is vital to have excellent communication skills. You need to learn to articulate your needs and wants in a way that others can understand. This is critical for all of your relationships and interactions with others.
5 Steps to take when people let you down
Now that you know why you may be feeling disappointed, it’s time to move on. Here’s what you should do.
1. Acknowledge your feelings
Disappointment is an emotion that we all feel, and we experience it from time to time. There will be times when you get less than what you expect out of life. Whether it’s not getting the job you want or failing a relationship with an ex.
No matter what it is, be sure to acknowledge and face your emotions. Don’t try to hide your disappointment. Instead of avoiding the issues you have to deal with, you have to face the feelings that led to them.
2. Determine the cause of your disappointment
The next step is to find out why you feel let down.
Keep a calm head during times of crisis. This works well after you have processed your feelings and are able to think clearly. Give yourself time to feel your emotions in order to reach the root cause. This will allow you to better cope with the situation when you allow a friend to let you down.
3. Appropriately communicate your feelings when people let you down
Explain the grievance to the person(s) who caused it. Handle your emotions with clarity and articulation. You thus have to comprehend precisely how you feel and the reason for your symptoms.
A great practice is to present this is by structuring your sentences like so:
“When you did _____, it made me feel like _____.”
Generally, no one wants to intentionally make anyone feel bad. By telling you how their actions make you feel, they can avoid making the same mistakes repeatedly.
After you’ve shared your opinion, allow the other person to receive what you have said, but also share their own thoughts and feelings. From there, you can work together to move forward in a positive direction.
4. Establish expectations and boundaries going forward
Now that you have discovered the reason and cause of your dismay, set boundaries and expectations for the future to prevent another incident. These could be personal goals you set for yourself or others.
For example, if your coworkers need to supply information, you may work together to develop a procedure and company deadline that everyone must follow. In case of funds, you may decide not to loan out any more money at all or only to certain people.
Keep your expectations and limitations realistic.
5. Forgive and move past it
You should forgive people when they fail you. You don’t want to count past mistakes against your future accomplishments. Furthermore, give people the freedom to learn from past errors.
Forgive them and yourself, and move on.
What to do when friends let you down
Dealing with disappointment about when your friends let you down can be very difficult to handle. After all, these are people you respect and are emotionally vulnerable with. So it can be more serious when your friends let you down and they hurt you in some way.
In these situations, it is even more important to communicate your feelings so that you can move forward. You don’t want to lose a friendship over something that may not have been intentional.
Be sure to follow the same procedures described above if a friend lets you down.
Use these tips to help you when people let you down
Don’t let disappointments prevent you from building relationships with others. We were meant to live in a community with other humans. It takes only effort to create and maintain quality relationships.
Learn how to convey your needs. If they aren’t met, use the tools available to work through when a friend lets you down and to create clearer boundaries and expectations.
