Have you ever encountered the green-eyed monster? Perhaps you thought someone was flirting with your spouse, or you may have mistakenly attributed a colleague to the wrong person.
If you’ve ever been in a similar situation before, you know that a little jealousy is fine as long as it makes you feel good. But anything more will disturb your love life. Let’s examine why jealousy and love are not a good combination.
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is a complex emotion that is a combination of anxiety, passion, and fear. It is a powerful feeling that may result when you are anxious about losing something important to you.
Jealousy is a result of the fear of your partner leaving you. This fear isn’t limited to humans; it is present in the animal kingdom, as well.
But don’t let jealousy fool you into thinking that it’s cute or romantic. Even though it’s a natural instinct, jealousy can quickly break your relationship and mental health if you or your partner let it get out of hand.
Why is my partner so jealous?
Are you facing an angry partner? Let’s discuss how to defuse a resentful companion before moving on to how to deal with a jealous companion. You might first notice that a green-eyed monster appears because of some of these issues.
Career success
Perhaps your significant other’s career isn’t progressing as quickly as they’d hoped, or they’re feeling upset because you’re earning six figures a year. Even if you’re working in separate fields, they might argue that you are more successful than they are.
Your wife might also be prepared to start a family and would like to know when you are going to take a break to be an expectant parent. This is a totally obsolete notion since it’s completely possible for you to be an in-demand worker and an outstanding parent.
But if you neglect your spouse’s needs in favor of work, then it may be time to talk about the situation.
Your money
If you have more money or experienced financial success before or during your relationship, this could be another cause of jealousy.
If you have money, know how to save money, or have made shrewd investments, your partner may be jealous.
Your social circle
If you’re happy spending time with your friends, a jealous spouse may feel that you are competing with him or her for attention. This is worse if he or she doesn’t mesh well with your social circle.
Oftentimes, this is because either you or your partner’s family have not made an effort to get to know one another.
Other men or women
Perhaps the most common problem in a romantic relationship is jealousy among spouses or partners. Your partner might be upset that someone better will come along and sweep you off your feet. This is a clear sign of insecurity and signifies a lack of trust in the relationship.
These reasons all boil down to your partner’s fear of losing you. Your companion may worry that you may become too successful professionally or socially, and you could choose to distance yourself due to these fears.
“Jealousy has many forms, expressions, causes, and degrees of intensity. Every person’s jealousy is unique.” – Robert L.Barker, The Green-Eyed Marriage
How jealousy destroys healthy relationships
Some degree of jealousy is normal and healthy. It can even teach us not to take others for granted! But stronger feelings of jealousy can become toxic and lead to malice, hatred, and brutality.
Lack of trust
Jealousy and distrust are closely linked. If trust problems exist, it’s easy to either feel jealous and vulnerable at the thought of a partner humiliating them or dumping them.
However, jealous experiences can also cause suspicion and distrust, such as when you’re dealing with a jealous partner who has started spying on you!
Breakdown in communication
Friendly communication should be at the heart of a healthy and happy relationship. But jealousy can hinder effective communication.
Maybe you have difficulty sharing news with your partner about your colleagues or yoga instructors. Or jealousy causes the both of you to scream at each other.
Stalking
Is Your Partner Snooping You Due to Lack of Trust in the Relationship? This Is a Dangerous Sign That Jealousy Has Gone Too Far. But Snooping Is Harder to Spot If You’re Already Dating Someone.
If you run into your partner while you’re out with your friends or coworkers, you’re not as likely to feel frightened as you would if a stranger were stalking you.
In any case, stalking is a sign that you are handling a jealous partner.
Violence
When feelings of love, passion, and jealousy descend into violence, you must seek assistance and end the relationship. There’s no excuse for a jealous spouse to engage in physical abuse. This applies to all relationships!
So whether you are single or married, you should avoid dangerous relationships.
5 Common jealous spouse signs
Jealousy is a potentially serious problem among partners. Pay close attention to these warning signs.
1. A jealous partner constantly checks up on you
If your partner reads your emails, listens to your voicemails, or constantly texts when you are apart, this is obsessive and unhealthy jealousy. Yes, they care deeply about you and want everything to know about your every move.
But this also indicates a breakdown of trust in your relationship. While there may be some normal reasons for a partner checking your private voicemails, for example, to eavesdrop on your child’s medical details, in most cases, this is an invasion of privacy.
If this is an issue in your relationship, establish boundaries to outline what you think is appropriate.
2. Your jealous spouse monitors your social media
These are similar to your computer or phone’s inbox and operating system. If your spouse is browsing through your social media accounts or viewing your Direct Messages, their envy has gotten out of control.
They perform these tasks because they expect to find something, which indicates a lack of trust.
3. A jealous spouse tends to pick fights with you
Argumentative discussions can be a plea for attention and the ability to express your innermost feelings. If your companion or spouse engages in endless arguments with you, this could be due low self-confidence.
But there are other, far healthier ways to have a discussion.
4. Your partner doesn’t like your namedropping
Do your ears ring when the subject of another individual is brought up? Your partner may be envious when you discuss previous relationships, your personal trainer, your friends’ spouses, or your best friend.
If you’re at the point where you’re able to filter everything you say, this isn’t a sign of a comfortable and relaxed relationship.
5. A jealous partner constantly puts you down
A supportive partner ought to be there helping you build up and championing all your achievements in life. If you feel they are being negative or belittling you, this is not something you should accept.
5 Key tips on how to deal with a jealous partner
Once you establish that your spouse’s jealousy is an issue in your relationship and is affecting your happiness, there are actions you can take.
It is of utmost importance that you keep an awareness of your surroundings at all times, as many of these items might save your life. Other items could inform you of your dangerous situation and give you the determination to leave it.
1. Discuss your partner’s jealous feelings
As a loving spouse, the first step is to discuss your companion’s jealous feelings. Attempt to understand their fears and reassure them. Be aware that your partner may be defensive when talking about their jealous behavior and might even deny it.
Do you find it challenging to be honest with each other? It may be useful to speak with a professional family therapist or relationship counselor.
Having open lines of communication is an effective way to interact with a jealous partner.
2. Take a look in the mirror
Ask yourself if you’ve made your partner jealous. For example, if you flirted, then consider how your partner feels about your behavior.
However, if you feel confident you’ve done nothing wrong, don’t let your partner rewrite what actually occurred. You can always ask a close friend for a second opinion if you are unsure.
3. Deal with a jealous partner by setting boundaries
If your partner is willing to talk to you about their jealousy, this is a good indication that you can work things out. But it’s important to have a frank conversation about setting clear boundaries.
You might ask your partner to trust you on a night out with your girlfriends and not require frequent breaks for checking in. Be certain not to consent to unreasonable constraints, it’s important you are both comfortable in your relationship, and you don’t feel trapped.
4. Keep a separate bank account from a jealous partner
Having an envious spouse is not a reason to give up your financial independence, especially if they are emotionally unstable. You can set up a joint bank account to pay for joint expenses or purchases as a couple.
However, you must keep your own bank account away from your spouse’s reach.
You can opt to have your wages paid directly into account and then have an agreed quantity transferred to a shared account on a monthly basis. This might be a warning sign if your spouse is not pleased with this arrangement.
This is why it’s important to set up an agreement before the relationship gets serious.
5. Get immediate help if you have a jealous partner who is abusive
Have you seen the warning sign of jealousy in your relationship? Perhaps you have been trying to improve it, but it’s not getting any better.
Jealousy can lead to a toxic relationship, and it may be detrimental to your health to engage in violent behavior with a jealous partner. Please consider some of the following options for finding assistance.
Contact The Hotline for confidential assistance regarding your situation or any abuse you are enduring. You will be asked to describe whether you are in a safe location to speak and to suggest ways for your predicament to improve.
This could mean teaching the spouse how to feel safer, increasing communication, or ending the marriage. The hotline is 1.800.799.SAFE.
If you’re unable to decide whether your spouse has assaulted you or whether the act was voluntary, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline for confidential support at no charge. The hotline offers a number of services, including referrals to long-term help programs, sexual assault forensic exams, and assistance from a sympathetic professional.
You can get to this hotline at 1-800-HOPE-4673.
Mental Health America provides Spanish-speaking individuals with mental health conditions the ability to access numerous online screening tools that can help them better comprehend the types of support they require.
If you need emergency service, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1.800.273.TALK or text MHA to 741.741 to speak with a trained counselor.
Can a jealous person change?
A jealous person can change, but it must be their choice to work on themselves. You can’t force someone to stop being jealous if they are not willing to change.
You are responsible for your own actions and can choose when it is time to move on. Remember that you may sometimes need to seek professional assistance, to help yourself.
Do what’s best for you when dealing with a jealous partner!
Your self-worth is so much greater than the negative emotion you’ve been receiving. So, if you have any concerns about how to respond to a jealous partner or identify any of the warning signs, it is time for you to act.
