As a teenager or even child, you are sure to become best friends with your BFF forever, and that really does feel like the case at the time. But then life happens, and you find yourself growing apart from friends. You go off your own paths, set different goals, and have completely different lives.
Even though your friendship was built to last, sometimes it is your finances that tends to drive you apart.
If you aren’t on the same level as others, resentment, jealousy, or even a feeling that things are not as they used to be can arise. You may feel like you’re ready to move your sphere of influence.
This text addresses the symptoms to watch for and how to handle developing with neighbors.
Signs you are growing apart from friends
Friendships vary, but here are some clues for noticing if you are drifting apart from friends.
They can’t relate to you wanting to save
If you work hard to save money for a big goal or are just living, but your friends are spenders, they may laugh at you for saving money. They may call you names, mock you, or simply tell you that you should enjoy life or that you can’t take it with you. Many people do this when they are unwilling to save themselves.
Perhaps they are envious of your ability to set goals and accomplish them. They could also envy the fact that you have money to spare.
If they live in poverty or are constantly increasing their living standard when they get a raise, they won’t recognize what you’re doing.
They call you stingy
Remember that when a name is given to you, it is typically an assessment of yourself. If your friends call you frugal, it may be because they want to save the money themselves, but are unable to.
You know how hard it is to skimp on money when you must spend it, so you’ve saved more than your buddies have. They call you names to make themselves feel better about their shortcomings.
They don’t take your goals seriously
Even if you have been talking to your friends all night about your goals, they won’t be inspired to take action. Why is this? They don’t consider your goals to be serious enough, and what they want is to be entertained.
Their goals may get in the way if they interfere with yours. If they don’t reach your goals, they might mock your efforts or tell you to give up. They hope you will give up and have fun with them as a goal of your own. This is a rare phenomenon among friends.
You don’t enjoy hanging out
You may find yourself regretful when you spend all of your time socializing with your friends and family and fail to meet your financial goals. It’s difficult to listen to others ridicule you or to always need to defend your decisions.
When you spend time with like-minded friends, you don’t have to make difficult choices all the time. You’re all on the same page and can satisfy your financial objectives while maintaining your friendships.
You don’t talk much anymore
Initially, you may reach out to your old friends more in order to not lose out on that connection, but it can get more tiring the more you do.
If you don’t make an effort to reach out, you may find that communication stops entirely. Keeping quiet to avoid hurting feelings often reveals your true feelings, and the friendship was one-sided in any case.
How to deal when you’re drifting apart from friends
This isn’t to say that it’s easy for friends to desert one. It is difficult. It pains your heart, and it can even make you feel alone. Here are several ways you can deal with drifting apart from friends.
1. Find friends with similar interests
Just because you’re losing touch with one group does not mean you can’t locate others. Get out there and form new friendships. Join groups that interest you and hang out with people whose interests are similar to yours.
Social media, such as Meetup.com and social media groups, make it possible to meet others who share similar interests. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it often becomes a lot easier once you realize that it’s easier to be around others who think like you.
2. Recognize that growing apart from friends is natural (and healthy)
You should be allowed to be yourself. Being financially independent is of utmost importance to you. You can save money and maybe even be frugal. For some of your friends, it may mean something different. They may be interested in expensive trips, shopping, and going out to bars.
Both lifestyles are not superior to the other. Everyone needs to be free to be themselves. Don’t harbor resentment or anger about leaving. Wish your fellow travelers well and thank everybody for letting you go your separate ways.
3. Don’t expect your friends to want your life
Just because you’ve made sound money decisions in life doesn’t mean your friend should do the same things. You feel that “if he/she would only do what I am, they would be fine.” They might not be.
Everyone has to do what they feel is right. What they believe to be right may not be what you feel is right, and that is okay. Everyone has their own life. You decide which road to take and let them choose theirs – if you meet in the middle, great, if not, it wasn’t meant to be, but you have the memories to cherish.
4. Grieving is okay when growing apart from friends
Mourning the loss of a friendship is like grieving the loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse. Your friend(s) were once a big part of your life. It’s okay to mourn what you lost.
This signifies that they meant a lot to you and you will miss what you have lost. The discomfort eventually disappears, and you can begin to move forward again, but allow yourself to feel your feelings.
5. It’s okay to wish them well
You don’t have to get angry or regret your friendship. You also don’t have to think about them ill. Yes, you may feel disappointed or let down by your friends, but you respond positively.
Instead of lowering yourself to their level, take the higher road and wish them well in your life – tell your friends how much you meant to them, and that you don’t want them to struggle at all. Even though you are drifting apart from friends, that doesn’t make you unworthy of their concern.
Stay true to your financial journey while growing apart from friends
Your finances may have many ups and downs, both financially and emotionally. Your family and friends may not be on the same wavelength, and they may be. Staying true to your beliefs and desires is what’s most important to you.
Don’t follow anyone else’s financial plan and don’t be influenced by others. You choose your own path, and if your friends and family fit in the picture, that’s great. If they do not, that’s okay, too; you can move on to something else.
It isn’t easy to lose your way among friends, but you can establish a circle of influence that aligns with your financial goals and lifestyle.
